Been a while, eh?

well, I've moved back to my hometown for the time being, and am currently between employers, so to speak, so I'll be around here a bit more for the time being. ... maybe. lol

P.S. I put up a few new songs that I'd completed just before packing up all my gear to move, so feel free to check those out if you've got the time!

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I'm still alive, I promise!

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The many songs I've written
have measured time gone by
commented on the sunrise
and served as lullabies
Poetry reflects
as lovers close their eyes
while memories can only watch
as they slip from their masters' minds

Now again, I'm compelled to write
of feeling lost, or losing hope
of losing time, not to return,
but again, All things must go.

A song to end the winter
A song to call the sun
A song to say that I still have
Love, for everyone.

A song to end the darkness
of the days that I have seen.
I song to say that I shall miss
Everyone
and Everything.

A song to say goodbye
to all that is done,
and A song to welcome
Things about to come....






I don't know what "DeadraveN"'s future is.. if there is any to speak of. The winds have taken me far from this familiar place. I don't know if, or when I will return. I know that music (and Dmusic, for that matter) is too much a part of me to ever let go, and I have thoroughly enjoyed sharing my journey with those willing to listen here, so I'm sure I will pop my head into Dmusic now and then to say the least, and I'll not cancel my subscription here either. Even if I'm not around, I have love for Dmusic, and I support what it represents, so that $25 every 3 months is money well spent in my mind. Musically, spiritually, and emotionally, I'm leagues away from 'Deadraven" right now, though. ...and unfortunately, physically, I'm not able to be as active in this fantastic community as I'd like to be, so for now, this page will sit... stagnate. I do hope to return to 'full duty' here someday.. so please.. someone.. remember me!! and, at the risk of sounding overly silly.. one last note to all those I've met here, whether it was a passing shout or dnote, or an ongoing friendship (I owe Dmusic for many of those) I love you all. I do. For everything you've given me, I love you.

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FINALLY!!!

So, my computer is dead... or dying, or something, and I haven't been able to get online much for the past few months. but a good friend of mine has lent me a computer to use for internettery and whatnot until I can figure out what the hell is wrong with mine.. Sooo.. long story short, hopefully you'll all see my smiley face 'round these parts quite a bit more in the days to come. lucky you!


By the by, I put up a few new songs if anyone's interested !!

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For some reason today, I'm thinking about my life in nautical terms. Well, kind of. Being that I'm not a sailor nor a pirate, I can't claim to actually know any 'real' nautical terminology. to me "port" is a wine and "stern" is a tone of voice.. but I digress.. Anyone who knows me would know that I do have an overactive, and vivid imagination, and for some reason, things always seem clearest to me when they are buried in the symbolism and imagery. So, with that overly indulgent preface, I'll begin to explain this maritime reverie...
I can imagine my life thus far as a strange journey that began so long ago I can't quite remember it's point of origin. I can recall a great many details of the journey thus far, but to refrain from overly diluting this rambling attempt at self-clarification, I will recall them in a summarized form, sparing the minutia. I lost some luggage along the way. I visited strange exotic locales. It seems I endured more storms than sunny days, but when the sun did show, I basked in every last second of its shine. One particularly horrendous storm spun me quite about, and the skies didn't clear enough for me to gain a bearing for
what felt like an eternity. Still, even in the haze and mist that the storm left in its wake, I always did my best to not take the journey for granted; to take in the sights and sounds around me; to appreciate all the beauty of existence. I say that I attempted, not that I was always successful... But I constantly sought the stars, always trying to regain my direction.
About three years ago, (give or take some months) The winds began to change, and I went willingly with them. I found strange new shores to visit upon, and wild rides to be had along the way. I became so lost in these adventures that I forgot to keep an eye skyward. I wasn't sure where I was headed, but I was excited at the thought of getting there. Soon enough though, as all things do.. the wild rides faded into calmer seas. The islands shrank into nothingness on the receding horizon. The adventure crept away from me, and as the sea's mists fell back into their womb, and the night began to cast its stars about the sky, I realized that I did indeed know where I was, and where I presently am. They call it doldrums; a graveyard of ships.
It is an unmoving sea with no winds to move any poor forsaken vessel caught here along to it's destination. To many, this plight would seem woefully lamentable, but to me, it has just given pause. and truth be told, at this juncture, I do need a moment to rest my wits and collect myself. It occurs to me now, floating here hopelessly (and oddly enough, not for want of hope), that even though the stars are out now, and I could use them to discern a location and plot a course to a known destination,
that..well, maybe that really isn't my heart's desire after all. If I've learned anything from weathering all these storms (if you'll pardon the pun), it's that the journey itself, truly is the worthier part. to bring this, at least momentarily, back into the realm of the meanings of all this self-indulgent symbolism.. No one really knows what their final destination is. And, methinks, those
who claim to, or even think that they do, are fooling themselves..some, sadly, willfully. They say you can never go home again, and I,... well, I must admit to myself that I agree. there's is no turning back. No going back to where I've been. This journey of life is taking place in more dimensions than those perceptible to us. Indeed, my sad, torn, pitched and patched vessel has reached these doldrums by traveling not just across such great distances, but traveling ever forward through Time as well. and Time.. that incomprehensible fourth dimension, is what has taken my familiar locales from me. Indeed, the
places I will be, the ports I will seek harbor in, the adventures yet to come, are ever ahead of me, regardless of how the stars lie tonight. And I realize now, that the truest happiness I can find on this journey will not come from knowing, or reaching, any particular destination, but in continuing to appreciate the existential beauty around me, remembering to take in the sights and sounds and all the world of perception around me as I continue this journey to the unknown, this grand quest for nothingness.
That beauty, that benevolence, that feeling of universal oneness, that inner peace that comes from understanding and appreciating the pointlessness of it all... it's always been there. I just sometimes forget to look deep enough into the abyss to see it. It is in all things, and can turn the simplest of travels into the grandest of adventures. It occurs to me now, that these doldrums I have felt lost in, are themselves in all four of the dimensions I'm conscious of at the moment. Floating hopelessly in place, and in time. No wonder so many starve and die on seas like these. It is far too easy to blame Gods, or Fates, or our fellow man for a plight like this, but in the end, it appears to be an effort of will alone that may make the difference.
Indeed, I feel the proverbial winds of change beginning. The signs are all manifest. The waves are growing.. Gulls race across the sky.. and my sails begin to swell. I toss my charts, my maps, my compass.. all overboard. And Stars, though I do love to look on you and revel in your glow, I'll no longer need your guidance...

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Sorry I've been gone so long. Moved into a new place, which meant being offline for a couple weeks. Anyway, what did I miss?

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I've got a new song up, called "A Tear for Every Kiss".. read the info on the song for the story on that one. I should warn you before you listen though, it's not my usual "dark rock" or "gothic" fare... it's mostly piano and synths, and a horrible attempt at some real singing. but if you're in the mood for that sort of thing, check it out

A Tear For Every Kiss

Hifi
Lofi
D/L

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I've also just put up a cover of a GTOriginal track called "This Song".. I've been wanting to do my own version every since I heard the original long, long ago.. and I finally did!! (thx Gary, for letting me do it!)

This Song (GTOriginal Cover)

Hifi
Lofi
D/L

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I'm too tired and in too much of a rush to do all the BBcodery and linkerage for these, but here's my latest news..

-Two, count them TWO, brand new tracks up on my DeadraveN page: "Shooting Star" and "Something Different".. the tracks actually go hand in hand.. they're meant to simultaneously contrast and compliment one another. Or maybe I'm just saying that because I haven't taken my pills today....

-New track, "Center of My Soul" up on the Wilhemina Murray's Revenge page!!

-Collab with Wormscrew and Zedsalt, "We Are the Strange" up on my DeadraveN page!!

-A few more things in the pipeline that'll be uploaded soon!! as soon as I get some of these projects done and off the table, hopefully I'll be able to log in and hong out more. Now that the music and artists are all coming back, it should get pretty fun around here again!!


AND----

Look below! I chopped my hair off! eek!

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